¡Ay, que Peña Nieto!

¡Ay, que Peña Nieto!

He was the joke of the country. He went to the Guadalajara International Book Fair, Latin America's largest literary event, to campaign for his Presidency. When asked to name an important book in his life, it took him several extremely awkward seconds to realize that he, in fact, could not think of a single book. So his reponse was, "Uhhhh . . . well . ..  uhhhh . . . passages . . . passages of the Bible?" When asked to share one his favorite passages of the Bible, his response was, "Some passages of it."

¡Ay, que Peña Nieto!

"The truth is, when I read a book, I often don't fully register the title." 

¡Ay, que Peña Nieto!

His daughter responded to this debacle by sending out an angry Tweet calling those who criticized her father as being envious, proletariat wimps. 

¡Ay, que Peña Nieto!

When asked what the minimum wage is in Mexico, he confidently responded that it was 900 pesos per day. It is actually 60 pesos per day. When asked how much a kilo of tortillas costs, he said, "I am not the housewife."

¡Ay, que Peña Nieto!

He fathered two children from two different women all while being married to another woman. This woman died suddenly and mysteriously. Now he is married to a soap opera star. 

¡Ay, que Peña Nieto!

He became the face of a billboard campaign promoting adultery. The billboard looks like this: 

 (Unfaithful to his family. Faithful and committed to his country.)

¡Ay, que Peña Nieto!

A story was released by the Guardian in May outing the Presidential Candidate and his ties with the media super-giant, Televisa. Turns out, the polls that had him 20 points ahead for the entire year leading up to the elections were all fabricated, and that they had promised to give him only favorable coverage. Televisa is the largest media corporation in Latin America, and controls two-thirds of the programming on Mexican television. 

¡Ay, que Peña Nieto!

When he was governor of the state of Mexico, he ordered one of the most horrific and repressive policies that the country has ever witnessed. 3 people were killed. 206 people were tortured. 26 women were raped. 10 human rights were violated: arbitrary detention, cruel, inhumane or degrading treatment, burglary, false imprisonment, lack of communication, torture, sexual abuse and rape, right to life, rights of minors, and rights to legality and legal certainty.

He specifically ordered the rape of women as a tactic to break down the will of the people. In May of this year, when he was asked if he felt regret about this decision, his response was "I decided to use the police to maintain order and peace ... the incidents were enacted ... the action was legitimate right to use the police to restore peace and order."

And all because the government wanted the people's land to build an airport.

¡Ay, que Peña Nieto!

Despite all of this, and the countless other tremendously immature, sexist, racist, classist and idiotic things that he has said and done, he is the next President of Mexico. 

Why? Because he looks like this: 

And has this:

And is besties with these people:

. . . Ay, que Peña Nieto . . .